How My Husband Deceived Me

1. As marital issues arose, he claimed we were overspending and living beyond our means. This baffled me as I managed our household expenses and was aware of our net worth, which neared $2 million. We were in our forties and had eliminated credit card debt, with substantial cash savings.
2. Reluctant to manage finances, my husband suddenly desired control over our money and began handling our bills.
3. A few years into his financial management, he declared that our savings had vanished. Shortly after, I discovered a P.O. box key. When I questioned him, he insisted it was for business correspondence.
4. Unbeknownst to me, he began damaging our credit by taking out personal and business credit cards in my name, using promotional offers addressed to me.
5. He proposed new life insurance policies, assuring me they were cheaper. Trusting him, I skimmed the policy and signed. Later, I discovered he had made himself the owner and beneficiary, canceling his own policy while maintaining mine even during our divorce.
6. He expressed a desire to sell our investment properties, a suggestion I had made earlier, so I didn’t question his motives.
7. While shopping, I learned my credit had been ruined. When I confronted him, he reiterated we were living beyond our means, even though I exclusively used a debit card.
8. He began limiting my spending, denying me funds for gifts for our children, and leaving me with a minimal amount of cash for expenses. As a stay-at-home mom who had contributed to our business, I became financially vulnerable.
9. He claimed our business had suffered a significant loss, resulting in even less money.
10. One day, he told me he canceled my American Express card, one of my oldest accounts, leaving me furious and unaware of his ulterior motives.
11. After six years of turmoil, I sought separation. He refused to leave, claiming financial hardship. Desperate to protect my children from his erratic behavior, I sought help from his family. When I explained our financial position, he was cornered and agreed to separate.
12. While apart, my electricity was cut off, and he feigned ignorance about the unpaid bill. Later, at a restaurant, my debit card was declined. He had frozen my account, joking about “teaching me a lesson.”
13. Eleven months post-separation, he threatened to withhold college funds for our son unless I allowed him back home. Fearing for my son’s future, I made a grave mistake letting him return.
14. After initiating divorce proceedings, he immediately refused to provide money for essentials. It took three months for him to vacate, during which I faced foreclosure notices, health insurance cancellations, and other financial distress.

How My Husband Stole and Concealed Millions

1. Trusting him, I rarely monitored our joint business account. By the time I realized funds were missing, I could only access limited transaction records that revealed substantial checks made out to him, often without corresponding deposits.
2. As our marriage deteriorated, he shifted funds by directly depositing significant portions of our income into undisclosed accounts.
3. He opened accounts under ‘Beneficial Ownership of Legal Entity,’ evading scrutiny by listing himself as an authorized user rather than the owner.
4. After our divorce, he coerced our teenage son to accompany him to correct a supposed mistake regarding his social security number on tax documents, a move that raised my suspicions.
5. The P.O. box served as a cover for his financial maneuvers, allowing him to create new bank accounts without linking them to our home address.
6. It seems he also established an illegal trust to obscure his assets, an action typically avoided by reputable attorneys.
7. Additional evidence suggests he may have concealed funds overseas in London, where legal actions are complicated and time-consuming.
8. The most severe financial abuse occurs among self-employed individuals who can manipulate reported income. He reduced our declared income, hiding more than half of it elsewhere.
9. He repeatedly threatened bankruptcy throughout our lengthy and abusive divorce, likely intending to make his financial struggles appear genuine while denying me adequate support.

What makes my husband’s plan more chilling is its orchestration by a network of men in his industry.

It took time for me to recognize this pattern. I reached out to other women, learning that many shared similar experiences with their husbands. They were told their finances were depleted due to extravagant spending, leading to credit destruction, bankruptcy threats, and financial ruin.

Most of these women had built businesses alongside their husbands, only to be left with nothing after decades of marriage.

I suspect my receipt of any alimony stemmed from my responsibility for our youngest son; otherwise, I believe he would have ensured I received nothing. The amount I now receive is significantly less than what I deserve, as he manipulated the income of our joint business.

The MeToo Movement has yet to extend its reach into domestic settings.

This issue, though tied to corporate structures, remains rampant as many abusive men operate under the guise of independent contractors, enabling their financial manipulations without accountability.

You may find yourself believing that justice prevails and that those who commit such acts will face consequences.

Divorce, however, is a different beast.

As someone once noted, “Normally, your husband would be prosecuted for fraud and theft, but in divorce, he can evade punishment.”

The stress and unpredictability I faced during this process were overwhelming, leaving me in constant anxiety about what he might do next.

I share my story with caution, aware that the unscrupulous will always find a way to exploit others.

It’s crucial to educate those who trust and love them.

Awareness is the first step in safeguarding against financial abuse. Individuals should monitor their finances closely, check credit scores regularly, and ensure they have accounts and credit cards solely in their names. Recognizing the signs of financial abuse is vital.

The moment my husband began rationing money was a clear indicator of control and abuse.

Even before I understood he was hiding funds, the limitations he imposed were a warning sign. When he froze my card and cut off utilities, I mistook them for isolated incidents, not realizing they were part of a broader pattern of financial abuse.

This is how my husband concealed millions.

He had our original net worth, a decade of secretive financial maneuvers during our troubled marriage, and a protracted, abusive divorce. The magnitude of his deception is staggering.

I failed to mention that he neglected to pay off our primary mortgage, which supported his narrative of being financially strapped.

This was how he crafted the illusion of being, in his words, ‘a broke man,’ and devised his long-term exit strategy to leave me destitute.

This is how an abusive partner deceived me.

• Explore the articles below to learn how to protect yourself from the financial abuse my children and I endured.

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