Understanding the Background

Residing in northern Michigan, I have never been fond of winter; it exacerbated my feelings of depression. Those who knew my former self often avoided me, recognizing the dark cloud that seemed to envelop my being. Had Eeyore been human, I would have earned royalties from Disney.

My troubles began soon after I was thrust into adulthood, lacking the skills to navigate the sudden responsibilities that appeared out of nowhere. With graduation looming just months away, the harsh realities of independence struck me like a whip.

To pass the time while I pondered my future, I impulsively enlisted in the military. Then, without warning, life accelerated rapidly. I transitioned from Michigan to Louisiana, married, returned to Michigan, divorced, remarried, moved to Florida, came back home, and after three children, faced yet another divorce. Each event seemed to push me deeper into a hole I was unaware of.

Shortening the Long Tale

After holding 30 jobs, with 20 being complete career changes, and residing in five different states, I traveled to 14 countries and experienced three marriages. And... A partridge in a pear tree.

After a series of painful marital changes, I realized that these transitions caused more anguish than job shifts, leading to a shift in my behavior, although the patterns of my self-destructive habits remained entrenched. I carried depression like a five-gallon bucket of sludge, spilling onto every aspect of my life.

Confronted with a life I either wanted to restart or end, I found myself disinterested in both options; I simply wished to escape the prison of despair that often tempted me to choose the latter.

At this point, I believe God heard my silent pleas for help and sent an angel to nudge me in a new direction. This led me on a transformative quest.

Rising from the Depths

Strangely, I began to hear about New Zealand everywhere, to the extent that it felt more than coincidental. Conversations, readings, films, and videos frequently mentioned the country.

Curiosity compelled me to investigate this occurrence, often termed frequency illusion; however, I quickly realized that this was not the case and continued my research.

Everything I discovered about New Zealand was positive, prompting me to sell nearly all my possessions to secure a one-way ticket to this new promised land. Although the preparation involved more details, I often found myself hitting dead ends, so I took the leap and went for it.

Within seven months of noticing this trend, filled with excitement and trepidation, I arrived in Auckland, New Zealand, not knowing a single person or my next destination. I picked up my reserved rental car and headed to an Airbnb.

Another Brief Summary

Around 80% of my six-month stay there was guided by blind faith. When I made plans, they were usually for just one or two days ahead, and at times, I drove without a destination until I found a place to stay.

Every new location would fill me with awe, as if I wanted to relive those moments repeatedly. Thankfulness for the creator and creation flowed from me effortlessly, and I often wondered, “How could it possibly get better than this?”

Then, as if to challenge God himself, my next discovery would surpass the previous one. I was like a starving soul, savoring each new experience.

After five months, I settled on the North Island, bought a car, secured a job, opened a bank account, and rented a place. I became part of a community, but within four weeks, I realized I had learned what I needed, and just like that, my time ended.

Upon returning home, I felt as though I was floating on cloud nine—a complete transformation from the person who had departed for New Zealand.

Conclusion

Until that journey, I had never ventured so far outside my comfort zone, nor had I experienced such profound freedom at my core.

I discovered three key elements essential for stepping beyond the comfort zone and overcoming complacency, with faith being the common thread.

1. The Nudge

   That subtle voice encouraging you to move in a certain direction. A hint of the journey without details, just enough to get started.

2. The Obstacles

   Various factors that attempt to deter you from your journey, such as excuses, irrational thoughts, well-meaning cautious individuals, or anything that prevents you from crossing that threshold.

3. The Journey

   The essence of your story—challenges, adventures, obstacles, detours, and all that contributes to exponential growth through acting in faith.

I must clarify that I am not a doctor and cannot prescribe solutions for depression. However, I know what helped me, so before assuming your situation stems from clinical reasons, consider that you might need to step out and truly live.

The two primary factors that had me stuck were perfectionism and a lack of gratitude.

• Do you need certainty before taking action?
• Are you so analytical that you struggle to reach conclusions?
• Must everything be perfect before you put yourself out there?
• Do you over-research to the point of paralysis?

If any of these resonate with you, it's likely that you remain stuck in the nudge or obstacle phase, hindered by excuses and a lack of faith.

When you sense a nudge, heed the call. Complacency is a stagnant pool of mediocrity born from various issues: perfectionism, fear, anxiety, low self-esteem, or simple laziness. All are excuses.

The human spirit craves challenges, new experiences, and physical activity for health. Complacency, or the comfort zone, stifles these needs, and for me, it spiraled into a deep depression that dulled my will to live.

Perfectionism can also be described as a need for control—not the inner kind, but the external manipulation of circumstances. Sometimes, it's essential to relinquish that control and trust that things will work out. Act without knowing the outcome, take risks, ask questions, and engage with people who intimidate you.

Summary and Key Takeaways

• Listen for that gentle nudge to step out of your comfort zone.

• Be aware of your excuses for NOT seizing opportunities and their reasoning.

  — It’s too expensive, too hot, too cold, I don’t know how, I’m not good enough, I don’t have time, too young, too old… etc.

• Relinquish control.

  — Let things unfold as they will; allow people to express themselves; seek understanding rather than judgment; take chances and leave the results open-ended.

• Prepare, but recognize that perfection is unattainable.

• Don’t let obstacles hinder you; push through. For every excuse not to act, there is a compelling reason to do so.

• Embrace life and share vitality; you may find your depression has lessened or, at least, taken a back seat to allow you to take charge.

• Formulate a plan and proceed. Concentrate on the next small step rather than fixating on the end goal; that will take care of itself along the way.

• Cultivate gratitude for everything, including what may seem negative; these experiences prepare you for what’s next.

• And don’t accept “no” as an answer.

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