Chapter 1: Arrival at Camp Granada

Greetings, dear parents!

Here I find myself at Camp Granada, where the scenery is quite lovely, and they say outdoor adventures await—if we can just put down our vapes. But let me tell you, this whole "screen-free" initiative is nonsense! All I want is to binge-watch anime and upgrade my Clash Royale account.

To my dismay, someone has taken my Fortnite towel, and the food hall has gluten! My favorite Jordans are now muddy, and without my smartphone, boredom reigns supreme. No more texting; instead, I’m stuck doing arts and crafts. Rafting instead of TikTok? Ugh!

I had to endure candle-making, and I can't even recall my Instagram handle! Please send my phone; I can't bear to be disconnected from my gaming life.

Please don’t leave me in obscurity where my followers may forget me. Just send my phone back; I swear I won't post any more bottle-flipping videos. Nothing else can fill the gap—I'll even settle for an Android!

Section 1.1: Desperate Pleas

Dearest Mommy and Daddy, I don't mean to sound ungrateful, but if I don’t get my phone soon, I might just leap from this ridiculous hippie camp.

Wait a second—what's that noise? My buddy Liam has managed to sneak in his phone! Watching YouTube is a game-changer. Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to send this letter!

Subsection 1.1.1: A Blast from the Past

Chapter 2: Reflections on Camp Life

Caroline Horwitz, writing from Pittsburgh, shares her mixed memories of summer camp—both delightful and terrifying—from the pre-smartphone era of the 90s. For more of her wit, check out her work in The Belladonna, Jane Austen’s Wastebasket, Frazzled, Points in Case, McSweeney’s, Weekly Humorist, and at carolinehorwitzwriting.com.