Stop Using These Five Phrases for Better Conversations
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Chapter 1: Understanding the Impact of Language
In my journey of mental health recovery and my role as a counselor, I've come to the conclusion that there are certain phrases we should eliminate from our conversations. While there are many statements that could be addressed, let's focus on five key phrases.
"I'm so depressed."
It’s not uncommon to hear individuals casually claim they are "depressed" over minor inconveniences, such as not having friends to hang out with or a favorite meal not being available. However, true depression is a serious and debilitating condition that should not be trivialized by such comparisons.
"I was traumatized."
The term "trauma" has become a catch-all phrase in everyday discussions, often used without a true understanding of its significance. Real trauma occurs when our nervous system is overwhelmed, triggering survival responses like fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. It’s essential to recognize that feeling traumatized is a profound state that should not be likened to ordinary annoyances.
"I'm so OCD."
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a complex mental health condition that can severely limit an individual's life. It often requires professional therapy to manage obsessions and compulsions. OCD is not simply about wanting things to be neat or orderly; it involves debilitating rituals and intrusive thoughts that can trap individuals. Thus, it shouldn’t be dismissed as a quirky personality trait.
"She looks anorexic."
Making comments about someone’s body—regardless of its size—is inappropriate. Our worth extends far beyond our appearance, and it’s impossible to gauge someone’s health or well-being based solely on their looks. Anorexia is a severe mental health issue, and using it as a descriptor only reinforces harmful stereotypes. Many individuals with anorexia may not visibly show signs of their struggle, as eating disorders manifest in various ways.
"I'm so fat."
Using "fat" as an insult is detrimental and fosters a negative narrative that equates thinness with worth. As an eating disorder therapist who advocates for a Health at Every Size (HAES) approach, I see the harm in these comments. Research indicates that concerns about weight often begin at a young age and persist throughout life. Phrases like "I'm so fat" perpetuate feelings of inadequacy and contribute to unhealthy body image issues.
These five phrases are just a few examples of the problematic language we encounter daily. It’s crucial to reconsider how we use mental health and physical appearance in our conversations to foster a more understanding and supportive dialogue.
Chapter 2: The Importance of Mindful Language
The first video, "Why You Should Just Stop Saying 'Just'," dives into the nuances of language and how certain words can undermine conversations. It emphasizes the importance of being mindful of our word choices.
The second video, "How to Stop Saying 'Like' Every Third Word," provides practical tips for improving our speech patterns by becoming more aware of filler words that detract from our communication.