Chapter 1: The Resurgence of My Meditation Journey

Recently, I experienced a significant return to my meditation practice, something I hadn't anticipated since mid-2023. On February 10th, I dedicated an entire hour to meditation, and surprisingly, I repeated this success the following mornings. I hope I'm not tempting fate by sharing this.

By the time this piece reaches you, I'll have clarity on whether I've truly rekindled that valuable habit or if it's just another fleeting moment. In the past months, I've encountered a series of setbacks that tested my resolve.

Let me summarize my experience. The first half of last year was tumultuous, characterized by a series of challenges that seemed to spiral out of control. Around April, my washing machine broke down, which was just the beginning. Other issues followed, including a troublesome leak under the kitchen sink. Each incident came with its own financial burden.

You can imagine the stress that accumulated from these events. Even though meditation is a valuable tool for navigating life's ups and downs, it doesn't make one immune to the pressure of ongoing difficulties. My practice has never been robust enough to handle such consecutive challenges.

I've been on this meditation journey since the early '90s, though there was a significant hiatus from 2000 to 2015. So, my serious commitment to meditation has been about a decade, particularly since I quit drinking and smoking in early 2014.

So, what’s the takeaway from my reflections today?

While meditation is often characterized as a long-term commitment, which is quite accurate, that's only part of the narrative. Building a daily practice is undeniably labor-intensive, especially when striving for hour-long sessions. However, the real challenge lies in sustaining that practice over time, despite life’s hurdles.

Sometimes, maintaining a positive and enriching meditation routine requires a stubborn determination. Yet, there are moments when that determination wanes. So, what should one do then?

Initially, it may sound counterintuitive, but I suggest allowing yourself to let go. Accept that your practice may be on hold for the moment. Strive for equanimity and trust that you'll reconnect with your practice when the time is right.

Avoid the temptation to force your practice back, as it may erase the benefits you've gained. Anger and frustration can cloud your progress, turning your journey into a battle of ego rather than a nurturing practice.

Instead, consider a gentler approach. You can meditate informally, without the constraints of traditional sitting. Maintain your practice by shifting your focus to everyday awareness.

Engage in self-reflection throughout the day. Check in with your feelings—how do you feel physically and emotionally? Is your mind at ease, or is there tension? Acknowledge your state without judgment.

At its core, meditation is about observation, not merely practice. When you cultivate awareness in your daily life, you’re not just passing time; you’re engaging in meditation.

Your practice hasn't vanished; it has merely transformed to adapt to your current needs. This shift has been crucial for my mental well-being during challenging times. While I hope to reignite my formal practice, I'm also learning not to cling to that desire.

Remember, observation is effective whether you are sitting still or moving through life.

Please share your thoughts on this journey in the comments below.