Rebuilding Confidence After Relocating: A Personal Journey
Written on
Chapter 1: The Emotional Toll of Moving
The experience of relocating was deeply unsettling. In my academic life, I was an active participant, passionate about my studies, and never hesitated to speak up during school assemblies. I thrived on being engaged and aware of my surroundings. However, I was unprepared for how drastically moving to a new city would alter my self-perception.
High School: The Beginning of Change
This transformation began in my 11th grade when I moved to Chandigarh for school and coaching. Coming from a small town with limited exposure, I found myself amidst peers who appeared remarkably intelligent, impeccably dressed, and exuding a strong sense of confidence. Standing among them, I felt a growing sense of inadequacy, causing my once outgoing personality to fade into uncertainty.
University: A Quest for Belonging
This sense of feeling “small” persisted into my university years. I found myself trapped in a cycle of comparison and self-doubt, often feeling that I didn’t measure up to my classmates. Although there were enjoyable moments, I frequently procrastinated and neglected my studies until finals approached. I hesitated to engage in university life, constantly doubting my abilities and the value of my contributions.
Full-time Job: Establishing New Guidelines
Things began to shift positively in my final university year when I made a conscious effort to start anew. I was fortunate to secure a full-time job in Bangalore—a new city with its own set of hurdles. This time, I created some personal guidelines:
Rule 1: Embrace New Opportunities
I committed to saying “yes” to reasonable requests. Here’s a glimpse of my activities: Despite my aversion to physical challenges, I participated in the Bangalore 5K run. Crossing the finish line while walking was a unique accomplishment that filled me with pride.
I eagerly joined my colleagues for lunch and dinner, savoring various cuisines while engaging in conversations that helped build connections. Food became a fantastic icebreaker.
I attended a creator’s meetup, even after learning about it only the night before.
I also embraced travel, exploring new places and immersing myself in different cultures, which enriched my perspective.
I even assisted a friend in designing a café on a budget.
After returning from an unforgettable Bali trip, I attended my first South Indian wedding the same day, despite the two-hour drive, simply because I didn’t want to miss it.
Rule 2: Engage in Every Office Event
I took part in every office event and seized every opportunity, even those that pushed me out of my comfort zone. I volunteered for workshops and participated in the office basketball match.
I delivered a talk show and quickly transitioned to participating in a retro fashion show.
I engaged in research trips and discovered the joy of staying in upscale hotels.
I took responsibility for the office annual event, participating in three activities back-to-back, including an indo-western fashion show and two dance performances.
Even partook in a sales activity for my product, a dishwasher.
Each experience contributed to my personal growth and taught me invaluable lessons.
Rule 3: Focus on Skill Development
This rule posed some challenges, as I, like many, was unsure of what I wanted. I started with coding, hoping for a bright future, but soon realized it wasn’t for me. Acknowledging the need for change, I pivoted to User Experience (UX). Those six months proved transformative, allowing me to dive into a field that resonated with my creativity.
Ultimately, during the lockdown and through numerous trials, I discovered my true passion for writing, transitioning to freelancing full-time. By engaging in various activities and acquiring new skills, I gained the confidence to create content on Instagram and embrace freelancing.
Moving to Bangalore and pursuing this writing journey helped me become the best version of myself.
Chapter 2: Confidence-Building Strategies
The first video, "5 Lessons I Learned by Moving to a New City Alone," delves into the transformative experiences of relocating and the lessons learned along the way.
The second video, "I Moved Back to NYC & I Hate It | Another Life Update," explores the challenges of returning to a familiar place and the introspection that follows.
Practice Your Speaking Skills
One memorable experience during campus placements involved a recruiter who told me, “Tanishka, while you may not be as technically skilled as other candidates, we want to hire you for your impressive communication skills.” This served as a reminder of the importance of effective communication in the professional realm. Join communities, initiate conversations, and don’t shy away from public speaking opportunities.
Create Something from Scratch
When I began my online business, I had no prior experience or niche. Yet, I persevered until I found my passion. Building my business instilled a profound sense of achievement, showcasing the power of initiative.
Cultivate Stories to Share
My time in Bangalore was filled with unique experiences that became great conversation starters. Whether recounting amusing travel incidents or valuable life lessons, these stories helped me connect with others and express my personality.
Learn to Connect with Others
In Bangalore, I made a concerted effort to connect with colleagues from various teams. As I transitioned to freelancing, I recognized the importance of building an online network. Meaningful connections can significantly impact personal growth.
Surround Yourself with Positivity
I’ve experienced two types of friend groups—one that preferred to relax and one that was proactive. The latter inspired me to take on new challenges and embrace opportunities, significantly influencing my confidence.
Dress for Success
Stepping outside my comfort zone and experimenting with my style has made a significant impact on my confidence, especially in social settings. Finding a style that resonates with you is essential for feeling confident.
Engage in Meaningful Activities
Volunteering at a children’s NGO taught me valuable skills and boosted my confidence. Engaging in activities that bring joy and have a positive impact can be incredibly fulfilling.
Travel or Relocate
Moving to Australia with my husband has prompted questions about my adaptation. My response is always the same: I enjoy wherever I go. Embracing change fosters adaptability and confidence.
Focus on Your Journey
Initially, I fell into the trap of comparing myself to others in the new city. However, I shifted my focus inward, concentrating on my personal growth, which has made all the difference.
Final Thoughts
While moving to a new city initially shattered my confidence, self-reflection and a willingness to embrace change allowed me to rebuild it. Documenting these moments through pictures has highlighted my journey toward strength and resilience. Confidence is not a destination but an ongoing process of self-discovery and belief in oneself. I look forward to continuing this journey, wherever life leads me.
Which of these points resonates with you the most? Share in the comments, and I may offer tips to help you overcome your challenges.