Chapter 1: Understanding Emotional Guardedness

Establishing emotional boundaries is essential, especially for those who have experienced unhealthy relationships. Many who have followed my work are aware of my struggles with various toxic dynamics, which often felt emotionally and psychologically abusive. A significant aspect I’ve refrained from discussing is my relationship with my in-laws.

Recently, with my husband’s complete support—who has naturally distanced himself from them over the years—I too have chosen to maintain a distance from his family. While I occasionally question if I am being too harsh or overly cautious, certain incidents reaffirm that my guardedness is indeed justified. When individuals consistently demonstrate that they are unsafe, those experiences echo back, reinforcing that keeping my distance is the right choice.

These family members have created a cycle of emotional imprisonment among themselves, and I recognize that their issues are not my responsibility. My priority is my own well-being, and I am accountable for my relationship with my husband. Despite their personal struggles stemming from past abuses, I cannot be the one to mend their wounds. I’ve made attempts—perhaps not as diligently as in other relationships—but continual insults and negativity have left me weary. Frankly, I’ve endured enough disrespect throughout my life and have no interest in prolonging it.

Before anyone misinterprets my stance, I want to clarify that I am not labeling them as toxic or suggesting they are inherently bad people. I merely believe that, when feasible, creating emotional and physical distance can be beneficial for all involved. I must keep my distance because they have repeatedly shown themselves to be unhealthy influences on my life.

I crave joy, tranquility, and happiness. I’m exhausted by their negativity—by their insults, judgments, and hypocrisy. It's overwhelming!

My husband and I have often wondered aloud how he turned out to be such a genuinely kind and honorable person, especially given his family's dynamics. He deserves so much more than the negativity that surrounds him.

Life's challenges often lead us on unexpected paths, shaping us into who we are meant to be. Although I may not fully comprehend why people behave the way they do, I am grateful for how these experiences have brought my husband and me together as the perfect match.

My husband is cautious with others but shows his true vulnerability only to me, which I completely understand. As for myself, I will continue to be discerning about whom I open up to while learning to navigate my relationships, both personal and professional, without inflicting harm on others. The silver lining is that we have each other, and that is enough.

If you find yourself in a similar struggle, know that you are not alone. I support your journey toward discovering what is safe and healthy for you. Life is filled with challenges, and testing your limits is part of finding your way. While there is no one-size-fits-all solution, I hope you find your path.

If you're facing difficulties, remember that you are not isolated in this journey. For those seeking guidance, I have compiled resources below to assist you.

Video Description: ANTWON - "Still Guarded" Glassroom Session Live - A reflective exploration of emotional barriers and the importance of self-preservation.

Video Description: Antwon - "Still Guarded" - A powerful expression of navigating personal struggles and the pursuit of emotional safety.

Resources for Overcoming Toxic Relationships

This list will continuously evolve, so feel free to revisit it as you progress in your journey.

I wish for everyone to love themselves fully, healing the wounds left by others. I pray for each person to feel completely loved and whole, regardless of the trials they may encounter. With heartfelt wishes for a brighter, healthier future, I send my love, light, and blessings.

PS — A few quick reminders:

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