Chapter 1: The Essence of Everyday Leadership

In July, I transitioned away from a formal leadership position when the organization I was part of closed. This unexpected change revealed more about my leadership capabilities than any structured role ever could. Now, I find myself navigating a path of self-employment without formal titles, yet I still embody leadership. Responsibilities persist, and I draw upon the qualities I've honed throughout my journey. I firmly believe that leadership can manifest in various forms, often requiring no grand circumstances. Even if the only person you’re guiding is yourself, your leadership skills can significantly impact your life and those around you.

When faced with chaos, one of the most vital skills I've developed is the ability to remain composed. Amid turmoil, I consciously slow down, engaging my logical reasoning instead of succumbing to emotional impulses. This calmness has been crucial not only during emergencies but also in everyday situations. For instance, my extended family often becomes anxious over trivial matters—like what to wear or how tidy their homes are. Instead of getting caught up in their anxiety, I maintain my inner peace and respond thoughtfully. This approach not only benefits me but also helps to ease the tension among those around me, allowing us to enjoy our time together.

For years, my mantra has been "It will be okay." My colleagues frequently commented on how often I voiced this sentiment during challenging times. A framed cross-stitch of these words now decorates my workspace. Navigating through various obstacles has reinforced my belief that things will eventually work out, even if they don't unfold as anticipated. In leadership roles, I often found myself actively seeking solutions during crises, and I continue that practice today. When faced with uncertainty, I strive to gather information and explore options for improvement. My resourcefulness and quick learning, combined with a calm demeanor, have proven invaluable in my leadership journey.

Recently, when my father was hospitalized, uncertainty loomed large. I felt compelled to seek information, engaging with his medical team and conducting research online. I discovered support groups where individuals shared their experiences, which proved enlightening. Understanding my father’s likely recovery trajectory and potential coping strategies helped me assist his wife in preparing for his return home. Although the situation was challenging and not flawless, leveraging my leadership skills was crucial during this trying time.

Empathy has always been a cornerstone of my leadership philosophy. Whether I'm leading, being led, or collaborating with peers, understanding others' perspectives enhances our interactions. This involves asking questions, listening actively, and observing keenly. Recognizing the reasons behind someone's reactions allows me to respond more effectively, providing reassurance when situations cannot be resolved satisfactorily. It's essential to acknowledge that no leader can please everyone. Empathy doesn’t guarantee universal approval, but it allows me to sincerely acknowledge the difficulties others face.

Moreover, empathy extends to recognizing that I cannot change another person, and their emotions are as valid as my own. This understanding is particularly vital in my daily relationships. For instance, my father's complex emotions surrounding aging and loss of independence require me to be patient and avoid pressuring him to change. Similarly, I encourage his wife to prioritize her own well-being, helping her cope with the unexpected responsibilities of caregiving. Moreover, I respect my children's individuality and their right to make different choices while still offering my support.

Surprisingly, cultivating empathy has heightened my awareness of the importance of self-care. While empathy for others has enriched my leadership, developing empathy for myself has proven even more beneficial. I often struggle with self-criticism, guilt over not working harder, and neglecting my own needs. My previous leadership experience taught me that effective leadership hinges on attending to my own well-being. When I arrive at work rejuvenated, free from late-night email distractions or anxieties about meetings, I make sounder decisions. This state of calm allows me to extend empathy to others and tap into my resourcefulness.

In today’s world, recognizing my own needs is more essential than ever. As a woman of a certain age living in the South, I confront cultural expectations of self-sacrifice. I find myself actively challenging these norms more than I ever have before. While my future in formal leadership roles remains uncertain, I hold aspirations and objectives for my career that demand time and dedication. Some people, even those I’ve just met, seem to assume I can easily prioritize their needs over my own, undermining the significance of my work.

One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is advocating for oneself and one’s beliefs, especially when it feels countercultural. It’s not about arrogantly asserting that I’m right; rather, it’s about being true to my best self and resisting the pressure to conform. By confidently embracing my identity, I can lead every day, regardless of whether anyone is following me.

This video titled "Everyday Leadership" by Drew Dudley discusses how leadership can manifest in everyday situations and emphasizes the importance of recognizing one's own leadership potential.

Chapter 2: Rethinking Leadership

In "Rethinking Leadership," Drew Dudley explores the idea that anyone can be a leader, regardless of their formal position, and highlights the importance of empathy and connection in effective leadership.