Chapter 1: The Awakening

“Every experience we encounter is shaping us for choices we will face in the future.” ~ Connie Ragen Green

Connie Ragen Green — Listening to My Inner Voice

“Every experience we encounter is shaping us for choices we will face in the future.” ~ Connie Ragen Green, contemplating the whispers of my inner voice...

In the quiet hours of the night, I find myself pausing before stepping onto the moving walkway at Amsterdam Airport Schiphol. A calming female voice breaks the silence, guiding me gently: “Mind the gap.” This comforting phrase echoes as my foot cautiously meets the rubbery surface, and I feel the familiar stirrings of my inner voice after a long ten-hour flight.

Arriving ahead of schedule means a longer layover before my next flight to Helsinki. As I head towards the Concierge Lounge, my thoughts drift. Before I realize it, I'm nestled in one of the plush chairs overlooking the runway, sipping lemonade and observing the bustling crowd. My mind wanders back to a time when possibilities felt endless, yet little seemed achievable.

During my youth, I grappled with low self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Although I excelled academically, I often felt like a fraud. The teenage years brought a rebellious spirit, shifting my aspirations from becoming a veterinarian and storyteller to seeking part-time work to support my mother and myself.

At fourteen, I landed a job as a hostess at a local pancake restaurant. Eventually, I convinced the manager to let me serve tables, despite not yet being of legal age. By the end of ninth grade, I was convinced I had all the knowledge I needed to live independently. I rented a room in a boarding house, and the landlady never once questioned my age.

A year and a half later, I met a man twelve years my senior who had recently returned from Vietnam and was seeking a relationship. His parents were caring for his two young children after their mother vanished with another man. This relationship profoundly impacted our lives, and I’m grateful I followed my inner voice instead of the opinions of those around me.

Earlier that day in the Delta lounge in Los Angeles, I encountered a man dressed in tight jeans and a worn flannel shirt. He claimed we had crossed paths at an event where I had spoken, and he had been a vendor. He shared tales of summer trips to a village in northern Italy, but his words felt distant and unrecognizable. Although I couldn’t recall his face or name, I played along, and we ended up seated across from one another in First Class. His monotonous chatter lulled the woman next to him and me to sleep. Though he identified as a writer, none of his stories resonated as true. My inner voice warned me he was not to be trusted, a sentiment that proved accurate as I witnessed his life unravel over the years.

Writing had always been a passion of mine, yet I seldom committed my thoughts to paper. Then, I made a radical change by quitting my teaching job to pursue a business online. I had worked part-time in real estate, thinking I might continue, but it soon became clear that my new venture demanded my full attention.

Cashing out my teacher’s retirement provided me the opportunity to focus on my business while covering my expenses. It took only a few days for me to realize that daily writing would be essential for success in this new chapter.

As a child, I spent countless hours alone, often wandering a long, wooded path behind our apartment. I would traverse back and forth, weaving stories in my mind about families, an elf named Tippy, and a boy who had drowned yet still attended school as if nothing had happened. I rarely documented these tales or shared them with my mother; most faded away with time. Stories endure only through oral or written expression, and now I find myself revisiting many of those lost narratives.

In the early 70s, I spent three months in Mexico with two friends, all aspiring to write a book. One friend published his novel shortly after, while the other decided writing wasn’t for her. I discovered that spending time in an exotic location was surprisingly uninspiring. I returned with improved Spanish, a collection of souvenirs, a nasty flu, and no desire to pursue writing seriously again. My inner voice had convinced me that writing was for "real" writers, not for someone like me.

In the past year, encouragement from two unexpected sources has reignited my passion. While I’d like to think I’ve been writing and publishing primarily for myself since 2006, it feels gratifying to receive recognition from others, especially when it comes from unexpected places. Now, I'm more inspired than ever, often writing more hours in a day than I thought possible. My inner voice urges me to continue, waking me in the early hours with whispers from my characters, coaxing me to open my computer and write.

After three hours, I arrive in Helsinki. My purse hangs from one shoulder while my carry-on rests on the other. Other passengers are courteous as we disembark in turn. I retrieve my suitcase and step outside. As I traverse the cobblestone path, I anticipate the familiar voice. It begins softly in my mind, growing clearer as I reach the platform. It speaks first in Finnish, then Swedish, and finally in English, allowing me to savor the moment. The phrase “minding the gap” resonates deeply, reminding me to be cautious about the paths I choose in life. Had I chosen to avoid the gaps, my journey would lack the cherished people, places, and experiences that define my life, especially my writing.

“Mind the gap.” Yes, indeed, I will. Until it no longer serves me. I have stories to share and a vibrant life to live, on my own terms and timeline.

I am Connie Ragen Green, embracing life fully, taking leaps of faith, publishing unfinished work, and connecting with others before the moment is right. I’ve been preparing for this journey since the beginning, and I was born ready to live life to the fullest.

Chapter 2: The Power of the Inner Voice

Exploring Mo Gawdat's insights on the little voice in our heads and its impact on our decisions.

Examining the significance of the inner voice in shaping the thoughts and actions of children and young people.